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I did not meet my goal last week.  

While this week is off to a decent start, my head wasn’t fully in it today.  But bright side, I did push through and get that 20 minutes effort spent today.  It may have taken over an hour to do so, and I very nearly walked away at 17 minutes, but I didn’t.

So what’s the deal?

Probably a number of things, but the end of the week had me fighting insomnia.  I could be dead tired, falling asleep in my chair, but the moment I’d lay down I’d be staring at the ceiling for several hours.  Sleep aids, sleepy time tea, and weighted blankets be danged, my body is determined for me to lay there in deafening silence until well past 4:30 in the morning for the last several nights.

It’s a little frustrating.  While I don’t want to admit it, I’m sure it’s a combination of stress and me trying to get some healthy habits going (Ring Fit.)

Change is difficult.  There’s a fear of leaving the known, the usual, the routine because it’s easy, it’s familiar, and safe.  Even if it’s not.

And that’s when doubt has it’s hay day and gosh has it been so loud and tiresome lately.

Even knowing a good workout would probably help me get my sleep schedule back or at least on a path to something that will be more beneficial than it has been, all work out I find myself questioning that logic.  What if it doesn’t?  What if this is a waste.

On and on and on.  Ugh.  It’s exhausting.  Not sleeping is exhausting.  Being awake is exhausting.  Being worried and scared and doubtful all at once and all the time is exhausting.

But I pushed on.  I mostly finished the world of Sporta.  I leveled up quite a bit today in the game.  I finally unlocked a recovery exercise.  I didn’t get the leg strap calibrated correctly today so that kind of screwed up the Fan exercise.  It did not want to register that my left leg was straightened out, but we powered through.  Quests have been unlocked as well.  That’s what kept me going today.

I went back to another world to do a few quests then back to Sporta.  I realized I never really took the warp portal to see where it went.  Growing up on Mario, I just kind of assumed it led to another world I’d be going to.  Not an extension of the world I was in.  Oops.

That was the push I needed to get to 20 minutes today.  Doing one of the courses in the warp area to unlock a treasure chest.  

And while my head still isn’t fully where it should be today, I’m looking forward to going back there tomorrow to put the work in.  One day, I’m going to feel better and the only way to get there, is to take it one day at a time.

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